As a new recruit, Henry has experienced many psychological transformations during this period of time, to where his true cowardliness is expressed. His romantic illusions are gradually shattered, and he begins to fear for the coming battles. Before the first battle, the newly recruit must grapple with a profound question regarding his courage: will he, when faced with the enemy and the possibility of imminent, painful death, stand tall and fight or retreat in shame, Gradually a little panic-fear grew in his mind He jumps up and questions himself loudly. Good Lord, whats the matter with me (Crane p.2). The great dilemma that Henry is in at that moment is more a matter of trusting himself as to what hes about to confront. Previously he had never felt obliged to wrestle too seriously with this question. In his life he had taken certain things for granted, never challenging his belief in ultimate success, and bothering lit
tle about means and roads. But here he was confronted with a thing of moment. It had suddenly appeared to him that perhaps in a battle he might run. He was forced to admit that as far as the war was concerned he knew nothing of himself (Crane p.7). Henry continually grapples with this question until he is truly face to face with the enemy. Henry must learn to understand himself as a soldier, not just as a man. Whatever he had learned of himself was here of no avail. He was an unknown quantity (Crane p.2). Henry here begins to see the difference between his expectations of war and the realities of it. He wishes not to be in a situation of life or death. He had never wished to join the war. He had not enlisted out of his free will. He had been dragged by the merciless government (Crane p.26). Here Henry starts to blame others that it wasnt his choice of investing. He get fixated on the idea that he was forced to join.